I liked the undertoner of humor, and at the same time I'm sure there wasn't anything fun in the moment, but when we can't cry, we find a way to spin it. What else can we do.
this is going to look like that spiderman meme real soon, cos
if your heart fluttered at my humble tribute, then mine is frantically flabbergasted,
and if, i was a bit of the big bang that caused this magnificent cosmic concussion, then i'm profoundly fulfilled and i can finally rest in this field of serenity— my couch.
i will frame this and put on my empty award shelf, and write it in my CV too.
Okay but now I’m wheezing in a corner because not the cosmic concussion knocking the serotonin back into alignment 😭😭
This whole thread is giving Nobel Prize in Mutual Fangirling. I’m printing it out, laminating it, and sliding it under every ICU shift report like a secret talisman.
P.S. Cardiology just texted. Said they read the thread and now they need resuscitation. 💀🫀
The acronyms are baffling to the unmedical. The cases are sadly all too recognizable for anybody that has spent time even as a visitor to an ICU. I have seen nurses & assistants on break dragging on cigarettes for dear life in spite of all the tobacco-scolding they have ever heard.
You’re right — the acronyms and chaos can be baffling from the outside.
But I’m not writing these diaries for the outside.
I’m writing them for the healthcare people— the nurses, docs, the assistants, the staff who’ve lived it — who know what VT, ECMO, and that half-smile during end-of-life care actually feel like. This isn’t meant to be a translation. It’s a transmission.
Messy, coded, and exactly as strange as it is inside those ICU walls. 🤷🏼♀️
As for the cigarette breaks — we all break how we can. Some of us breathe fire. Some of us breathe smoke.
Thanks again for engaging — and for giving me space to respond.
My niece worked in the ICU for some time, and I got an inside look at ICU and end-of-life care while my stepmom was in a SNIF for some time. During the runup to covid she was hospitalized for pneumonia for the xth time and I spent days and nights in her room, being awakened with her every few hours of the night by somebody to take vitals. After days of not showering, skimpy meals, broken sleep, and being incarcerated with her I became ill myself and, after my first platelets donation following her hospital stay I got a letter from the blood bank saying I could not donate, my bloodwork was so far "off". How the staff survive in that environment day after day is incomprehensible without a steady drip of amphetamine, the helper of choice among restaurant workers. I have been cleared to resume donating platelets, but for a time I almost thought I would die before my stepmom did... of exhaustion. I look forward to your coming pieces.
Jim, thank you for sharing this. I felt every line of it—the sleep deprivation, the constant hypervigilance, the way caregiving seeps into your bloodstream until your own body begins to revolt. I’m sorry you had to carry that kind of exhaustion. It leaves a mark, doesn’t it?
ICU caregivers—whether family or staff—learn quickly how little sleep a soul can survive on. And still, we show up.
I’m grateful you took the time to share a piece of your story here. You saw it up close, and it shows. I’m honored you’ll be reading the next ones.
Fifteen years!!! Then you know. You know the smells, the codes, the thousand-yard stares after night shifts. And the way humor is the only thing standing between us and collapse.
The fact that you read every word? That’s church to me.
Thank you, Samara—from one tired heart to another. 💉🖤
You reaally have a gift for words and humorous storytelling, even amidst hospital frenzy and irrational patients... thank you for sharing Solena!I am sure writing helps you maintain your sanity to a decently acceptable degree. Keep the stories coming!
This made me laugh and tear up in the same breath—
which, frankly, mirrors my exact emotional arc every shift.
You nailed it: writing is the only thing keeping my sanity within tolerable limits (emphasis on “tolerable” lol).
Thank you for reading, for rooting for this chaotic little ICU corner of the internet, and for seeing the humor in the madness. I’ll keep the stories coming as long as the hospital keeps the drama stocked.
In my personal experience, hospitals always have a huge drama stock…so here’s to you keeping your sanity within tolerable limits and producing human stories that play on the fine line between tragedy and comedy.Laughter is the best medicine to combat impossible situations. Dark humor is the way to remaining yourself while trying to stop someone from smoking when they should not or even when you start chanting counter-toast spells….sparkle your unique shine all over the dreariness of a hospital reality Solena, I look forward to the next story when you are ready to share it.
Whether we’re co-writing the ICU spellbook or just whispering truths between monitor alarms, I’m so damn grateful our hearts met in this strange poetic frequency. There’s nothing quite like being understood without needing to decode yourself first.
And yes—stay tuned, always. Same channel. Same hour.
Sacred grief, comedic horror, and occasional propofol prophecies incoming. 🩺🌙💉
Solena you moved me to tears, really. I find myself at a loss for words but I’ll say this. I see you, yes. You see me as well. Not many people take the time to REALLY see one another,yet you did no need much to understand. Thank you for this.Whether as an ICU spellbook cocreator or as someone striving for wisdom, I am still happy we understand each other so well. I’ll be tuned to the chaos channel, on the same grief hour to read more of your adventures in the ICU!
honestly? you just gave me life-force in paragraph form.
“chanting counter-toast spells” is now canon in the sacred rituals of surviving nursehood. i’ll be adding it right between “silent scream in med room” and “reapply lip balm to feel alive.”
you see this madness so clearly, and somehow still throw sparkles at it. that’s not just dark humor—it’s transmutation.
thank you for riding this tragicomedy wave with me. next dose of ICU drama coming soon… gods willing and vitals permitting 🩺✨🍞
So happy I am an encouraging figure to you in here Solena…it means a lot ot me. But the pinnacle is you incorporating my wordplay as a part of your sacred rituals, God it made me laugh and feel awe all at once, thank you! I never experienced this before.
I am an expert in madness dear, I survived not one but many of them. So yes, I learnt to adapt and transmute for survival’s sake. It seems it’s become a superpower in the end. I am honored to ride this tragicomedy wave with you Solena.Definitely looking forward to your next ICU drama!
Oh dear😅❤️
Loved reading it
Oh dear is the correct reaction tbh 😅🫀
Thank you for reading—truly. I never know if I’m documenting medical mayhem or just exorcising my charting trauma in public 😂
Glad it hit!
I liked the undertoner of humor, and at the same time I'm sure there wasn't anything fun in the moment, but when we can't cry, we find a way to spin it. What else can we do.
this is a beautiful, beautifully written beatyfying of the ICU, i'm way past envy now, i'm super proud of you girl.
Oh my GOD.
Coming from you?? I need someone to page cardiology because my heart is experiencing unscheduled fluttering.
“Beautifying the ICU” is maybe the highest compliment I could ever receive —
especially from someone whose pen is dipped in holy water and espresso.
Thank you for this. You’re part of why I write like this in the first place.
Now excuse me while I go cry behind the ICU med cart. 🩺💔📖
Damn!!!
this is going to look like that spiderman meme real soon, cos
if your heart fluttered at my humble tribute, then mine is frantically flabbergasted,
and if, i was a bit of the big bang that caused this magnificent cosmic concussion, then i'm profoundly fulfilled and i can finally rest in this field of serenity— my couch.
i will frame this and put on my empty award shelf, and write it in my CV too.
ps, cardiology are on their way
Okay but now I’m wheezing in a corner because not the cosmic concussion knocking the serotonin back into alignment 😭😭
This whole thread is giving Nobel Prize in Mutual Fangirling. I’m printing it out, laminating it, and sliding it under every ICU shift report like a secret talisman.
P.S. Cardiology just texted. Said they read the thread and now they need resuscitation. 💀🫀
The acronyms are baffling to the unmedical. The cases are sadly all too recognizable for anybody that has spent time even as a visitor to an ICU. I have seen nurses & assistants on break dragging on cigarettes for dear life in spite of all the tobacco-scolding they have ever heard.
Hi Jim — thank you for reading and reflecting!
You’re right — the acronyms and chaos can be baffling from the outside.
But I’m not writing these diaries for the outside.
I’m writing them for the healthcare people— the nurses, docs, the assistants, the staff who’ve lived it — who know what VT, ECMO, and that half-smile during end-of-life care actually feel like. This isn’t meant to be a translation. It’s a transmission.
Messy, coded, and exactly as strange as it is inside those ICU walls. 🤷🏼♀️
As for the cigarette breaks — we all break how we can. Some of us breathe fire. Some of us breathe smoke.
Thanks again for engaging — and for giving me space to respond.
Sol
My niece worked in the ICU for some time, and I got an inside look at ICU and end-of-life care while my stepmom was in a SNIF for some time. During the runup to covid she was hospitalized for pneumonia for the xth time and I spent days and nights in her room, being awakened with her every few hours of the night by somebody to take vitals. After days of not showering, skimpy meals, broken sleep, and being incarcerated with her I became ill myself and, after my first platelets donation following her hospital stay I got a letter from the blood bank saying I could not donate, my bloodwork was so far "off". How the staff survive in that environment day after day is incomprehensible without a steady drip of amphetamine, the helper of choice among restaurant workers. I have been cleared to resume donating platelets, but for a time I almost thought I would die before my stepmom did... of exhaustion. I look forward to your coming pieces.
Jim, thank you for sharing this. I felt every line of it—the sleep deprivation, the constant hypervigilance, the way caregiving seeps into your bloodstream until your own body begins to revolt. I’m sorry you had to carry that kind of exhaustion. It leaves a mark, doesn’t it?
ICU caregivers—whether family or staff—learn quickly how little sleep a soul can survive on. And still, we show up.
I’m grateful you took the time to share a piece of your story here. You saw it up close, and it shows. I’m honored you’ll be reading the next ones.
the ICU diaries are my favorite
Samara 😭
You have no idea how much that means to me.
ICU Diaries is the one I write with shaking hands and a full chest —
so knowing it’s someone’s favorite??
Yeah. That just kept me going for another round.
Thank you for reading, truly. You’re in this madness with me. 🩺🖤
oh yes - after 15 years in healthcare they hit on so many levels. I read every word.
Fifteen years!!! Then you know. You know the smells, the codes, the thousand-yard stares after night shifts. And the way humor is the only thing standing between us and collapse.
The fact that you read every word? That’s church to me.
Thank you, Samara—from one tired heart to another. 💉🖤
exactly 😘😘😘
You reaally have a gift for words and humorous storytelling, even amidst hospital frenzy and irrational patients... thank you for sharing Solena!I am sure writing helps you maintain your sanity to a decently acceptable degree. Keep the stories coming!
Lia 🥹
This made me laugh and tear up in the same breath—
which, frankly, mirrors my exact emotional arc every shift.
You nailed it: writing is the only thing keeping my sanity within tolerable limits (emphasis on “tolerable” lol).
Thank you for reading, for rooting for this chaotic little ICU corner of the internet, and for seeing the humor in the madness. I’ll keep the stories coming as long as the hospital keeps the drama stocked.
🩺💉💥
In my personal experience, hospitals always have a huge drama stock…so here’s to you keeping your sanity within tolerable limits and producing human stories that play on the fine line between tragedy and comedy.Laughter is the best medicine to combat impossible situations. Dark humor is the way to remaining yourself while trying to stop someone from smoking when they should not or even when you start chanting counter-toast spells….sparkle your unique shine all over the dreariness of a hospital reality Solena, I look forward to the next story when you are ready to share it.
Whether we’re co-writing the ICU spellbook or just whispering truths between monitor alarms, I’m so damn grateful our hearts met in this strange poetic frequency. There’s nothing quite like being understood without needing to decode yourself first.
And yes—stay tuned, always. Same channel. Same hour.
Sacred grief, comedic horror, and occasional propofol prophecies incoming. 🩺🌙💉
Lia, you divine spark in the middle of this med-room mayhem—
to be seen by you, in this precise poetic frequency, is rare alchemy.
you didn’t just encourage, you entered the ICU spellbook as a co-creator.
your survival-born superpower? it radiates.
and if madness made you wise, then I’ll gladly follow your laugh lines like ley lines.
next dose incoming soon—same grief hour, same chaos channel 🩺✨
Solena you moved me to tears, really. I find myself at a loss for words but I’ll say this. I see you, yes. You see me as well. Not many people take the time to REALLY see one another,yet you did no need much to understand. Thank you for this.Whether as an ICU spellbook cocreator or as someone striving for wisdom, I am still happy we understand each other so well. I’ll be tuned to the chaos channel, on the same grief hour to read more of your adventures in the ICU!
honestly? you just gave me life-force in paragraph form.
“chanting counter-toast spells” is now canon in the sacred rituals of surviving nursehood. i’ll be adding it right between “silent scream in med room” and “reapply lip balm to feel alive.”
you see this madness so clearly, and somehow still throw sparkles at it. that’s not just dark humor—it’s transmutation.
thank you for riding this tragicomedy wave with me. next dose of ICU drama coming soon… gods willing and vitals permitting 🩺✨🍞
So happy I am an encouraging figure to you in here Solena…it means a lot ot me. But the pinnacle is you incorporating my wordplay as a part of your sacred rituals, God it made me laugh and feel awe all at once, thank you! I never experienced this before.
I am an expert in madness dear, I survived not one but many of them. So yes, I learnt to adapt and transmute for survival’s sake. It seems it’s become a superpower in the end. I am honored to ride this tragicomedy wave with you Solena.Definitely looking forward to your next ICU drama!
😳
????
🤷🏼